Venango VASA Program Launches Mortimus II After Blunders Drops First Ship In the River

Oil City residents woke to the sound of a rocket being launched in the air. The scientist responsible for tossing it, VASA astronomer Kneel Legweak, propelled the miniature shuttle into the sky for Venango's second trip to the Moon.

Unlike the last trip taken in December, reports say that this shuttle will not be landing, but instead will naturally turn back towards the Earth after making a full circle around the mass they hung in the tree above them.

President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America says that this second trip is necessary for the pride of our newly found nation. After a year of trying to outshine East Crawford in the race to outer space, going to the moon a second time will ensure that East Crawford will have to work twice as hard to be just as impressive.

When asked why the shuttle will not be landing during its voyage, Mayor Blunders hinted that the drop sheet used during the last photo shoot could not be cleaned in time for this occasion. Additionally, Blunders noted that it is not in the budget for his astronauts to purchase cheese from Aldi to act as the samples for them to bring back. City officials agreed that it was best to just toss the shuttle over the moon and let it come back to Earth when it is ready.

As of yesterday, the launch was a success, but not after Mayor Blunders accidentally dropped the first prototype in the river. Scientists, fortunately, had erected another one made from the scraps of their toilet paper rolls in the laboratory. The second shuttle was named Mortimus II in honor of the first shuttle that Mayor Blunders dropped, which was named Mortimus I.

The shuttle is expected to fall back to Earth as soon as the next breeze blows it out of the tree. At that point, Mayor Blunders will be able to claim that the moon's orbit did the work in redirecting the shuttle. He adds that the closer the shuttle gets to Earth, the more he can logically claim that the gravitational pull of Venango County will influence its return.

As for the astronauts aboard, President Mayor Blunders states that he has boarded six able-bodied individuals made up of diverse groups in order to avoid offending the hypocrite party. With Blunders being a representative of the egocentric party, he states that appealing to the hypocrites may help ensure his victory in the next election cycle.

Upon their return, Blunders will honor each astronaut with a 10% off coupon to McDonald's and a life-size replica of the shuttle they should not be able to fit in.