Venango Republic Seeks Public Funding to Build New Headquarters
The Venago Republic staff has expressed their desire to work in a real location. With all 14 members being fictional, things have become pretty crammed in the nonexisting place they currently work in. Now, the CEO of the Venango Republic is finally making a push to build a new headquarters for the satiracle news organization by holding a Go Fund Me campaign.
After requesting funds and being rejected by Franklin City officials, Blobbert, the founder and CEO of the Venango Republic decided it was best to take matters into his own hands by starting a Go Fund Me page. Mayor Blunders of Oil City caught wind that the Venango Republic was seeking funding for a new location and requested Blobbert to consider Oil City as the new home base. Blobbert disrespectfully declined stating that "we need a town with buildings people maintain."
Despite Franklin officials rejecting Blobberts request for funding, the Venango Republic is still set on moving to the only charming town in the region and replacing their courthouse just to stir the pot. Blobbert believes that by putting all county employees out of work against their will, we will have successfully caused everyone to hate us, which is exactly what we are trying to accomplish.
The new location will resemble the Sears Tower (inaccurately named Willis Tower) in Chicago. It will consist of 110 stories and will feature a diving board at the very top for anyone trying to escape Venango County. Funds raised will be used to purchase the old pinkstained courthouse building in downtown Franklin where we will hopefully be able to overthrow the judicial authorities, including compliance officers and any possible political leaders failing to make a difference. Civic improvements may be seen in the picture below.
Because all our staff are fictional, the building will not actually be occupied by anyone except a janitor who will keep the first floor looking clean for no good reason. The upper floors will remain vacant as is typical for multi-story buildings in Venango County. Project estimates come to roughly 4.2 billion which exceeds the amount estimated to be circulating in the county by exactly 4.2 billion. Contributions can be made by clicking here. Those who fail to click the link will be sentenced to life in Venango County.
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