Venango Republic's Lead Jounalist Stops by County Anex Building
The Venango Republic has recieved mixed responses since first telling the community the hard truth that there's nothing special about their county. All 15 of our staff members have had to take on aliases after people began threatening to report them to their full time jobs. For instance, John Barrymore, our advertising specialist, had to change his name to Jason Bourne so that nobody would report him to the Oil City Pizza Hut. Additionally, our photographer John Barrymore, also had to change his name to Peter Porker so nobody would report him to his job at Pizza Hut in Oil City. Our news anchor, John Barrymore, also had to change his name to protect his job at the local Pizza Hut in Oil City. Every staff member has taken the initiative to change his name to prevent people from finding out who they are and where they work. But the one this has possibly impacted the most is John Barrymore, our lead journalist who changed his name to Jeremy Jetfuel to protect his job at the local Pizza Hut in Oil City.
What's crazy about all our staff members having to take on strange identities is that the most unexpected people still love what they are doing. That is at least what Jeremy Jetfuel discovered when he visited the Venango County Anex today in Franklin PA. What most people don't know is that our lead journalist used to work for Venango County in the Child Protective Services unit. His job was very unique in that, while all the other workers were out investigating allegations of child abuse, he was cleaning the toilets and making sure the place was nice and clean for when the other county agents came back. Jeremy Jatfuel is very well known by the county workers because, despite having the job of keeping the toilets clean, he always managed to stuff them instead.
When Jeremy Jetfuel stopped by the Anex today, the county workers welcomed him with open arms while also asking him to keep a six foot distance. Remember.... He did stuff the toilets after
The county workers immediately recognized him and praised him for his part in making the Venango Republic a success. Jetfuel was surprised by this statement. How did they know he was involved? According to the workers, they recognized the sarcastic personality that always got him reported to HR. Jetfuel immediately realized he made a mistake when comparing the toilets he stuffed to the county seat.
The workers at the Anex assured Jetfuel that nothing he has written for the Venango Republic offended them. They know Venango County isn't great!
Jetfuel was relieved to hear this, and with this promised not to reveal in his articles that their names are Jeffery Janjanjan and Muriah Kateandashley. This way, their support of the Venango Republic doesn't put their jobs at risk. At the same time, Jetfuel decided to still write the article so that people furrious at our platform realize that even the county agrees with us.
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