Venango Republic Hopes to Learn the Secrets of Misinformation After Proposal to Buy Explore Clarion

The Venango Republic has long admired Explore Clarions ability to report matters before verifying what's true. False information is what we specialize in but for some reason we still fall second to Explore Clarion in this category. Consequently, our founder and CEO Blobbert Blobfish has proposed an offer that exceeds more than twice Explore Clarion's value.

It may seem a bit steep to offer absolutely nothing to Explore Clarion. The organization was assessed in the negatives meaning that they technically should be paying us to take their garbage away. However, we want to become the number one source of misinformation. Explore Clarion is the only barrier keeping us from achieving this and if we can afford to pay nothing, we are willing to make that kind of contribution knowing that it exceeds their networth.

A proposal has been sent to Explore Clarion. We recognize that these things take time, but we are confident that we can finalize the deal before they edit another article out of existence. Their 49 thousand followers would be perfect for us as we have been trying to attract a demographic that thinks passive aggressive headlines equate to reliable news.

The Venango Republic has grown exponentially by achieving an audience twice the size of Venango County. Our 20 subscribers are loyal members. However, we would love to have an even bigger audience who loves drama, hates facts, and who thinks that a guy named Kevin pumping gas is trustworthy for information. Not to mention, we would love to learn how Explore Clarion manages to publicize rumors before the guy starting them finishes his coffee. We understand writing hearsay news is hard when your only qualification is owning a keyboard. This peaks our curiosity as to how a group of people with no honest credentials convinces people to trust their lack of skill in real journalism.

There is no doubt, we have a lot to learn and buying out Explore Clarion would be advantageous in learning the secrets of exaggerating our appeal. Explore Clarion is great at trying to make their website look like a major news network despite copying and pasting chunks of information from Spotlight PA and calling it an article. We will however stick with the appeal of our staff photos which, unlike Explore Clarion, do not consist of staff members taking selfies in their backyard.