Venango Republic Defends Big Foot After Public Blames Him for Traffic Delays
Yesterday, the Venango Republic publicized two articles about the traffic delays outside of Cranberry Township. The article's instantly went viral with 5 shares and 3 comments. Within minutes, conspiracy theories flooded the comment sections as to what may have contributed to the delays. Unfortunately, our summer intern, Big Foot, took a lot of heat from several.... Well.... Technically one guy. However, in the nature of blowing things out of proportion for the sake of newsworthy content, the Venango Republic will falsely report that 50 people blamed Big Foot.
Staff for the Venango Republic quickly came to the defense of Big Foot who has become a respected member of both Venango and Clarion County. Despite having a history of running naked through the woods surviving on baby deer and possibly children, Big Foot sought professional help and rehabilitated himself to become a sophisticated public servant. Ye Ti, the winter intern for the Venango Republic, took to Facebook instantly after the allegations of him holding up traffic came to light.
Blobbert Blobfish, Founder and CEO of the Venango Republic, had this to say about the incident.
Jeremy Jetfuel, lead journalist for the Venango Republic, did not hold back his disgust for what the public is saying about Big Foot, going so far to suggest that it is the commenters who are the slow drivers.
George Washington, official stone mason for the Venango Republic, as well as our news anchor, Mr. Dead Weight, offered their condolences to the victims of the Chicago Fire.
As for Big Foot, he states that he will continue being the best person he can be and is even offering to cook for those who are trying to defame him.
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