Venango Republic CEO Forced to Buy Dress After Spitting Fish Phlegm All Over It
Blobbert Blobfish is under fire after accidentally slobbering all over a dress he was not supposed to be holding. According to unreliable sources, Mr. Blobfish wandered into Boho Daisy Boutique early this afternoon and spat fish phlegm all over a dress that isn't even his size.
"I am extremely ashamed of my actions," states Mr. Blobfish. "Where I come from, fish phlegm is a courtesy. We are very much like llamas of the sea."
Locals are demanding Mr. Blobfish lose his job after such a shameful stunt. With Boho Daisy being one of the more respected businesses in town, the CEO of the Venango Republic is now expected to pay upwards of whatever that dress is worth. Unfortunately, we don't know what it is worth because his spit-up covered the tag.
"I don't understand what he was doing in our store," states the manager. "Blobbert's wife is 10 feet tall and weighs over 800 pounds. Being a fish herself, she orders all of her clothing custom from SeaWorld."
The dress is a minor setback to the store as long as Mr. Blobfish pays up. Nonetheless, Mr. Blobfish will not be permitted access going forward unless he is wearing a mask and carrying a bag of tissues.
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