Venango Military Drives Allegheny Back to Pittsburgh

News from the battlefield reveals that the Venango County military has successfully driven Allegheny troops back to their homeland. Which, when you consider the mission of taking back Oil City's rotary phone and carrier pigeon, could technically constitute as a failure on the part of our troops. Nonetheless, President Mayor Blunders has announced to the public victory in the Battle of Butler. Because the Allegheny troops fled to where they were fleeing to, our soldiers are now taking credit for driving troops away from an area they were trying to leave.

A celebration is now being held by the citizens of Venango County, who seem to have forgotten the state of emergency due to the armies of East Crawford and Warren preparing to cross the border. With Venango County having no military to defend the capital of Oil City, the citizens making up the county are merely sitting ducks, waiting for a siege to begin.

In Butler, the troops who failed to take back Oil City's rotary phone and carrier pigeon are holding a brief celebration for Allegheny's continual retreat. This celebration will soon be cut short, as they must determine how they will surpass the Butler military, who is blocking their way back to Venango.

President Mayor Blunders has assembled a team tasked with installing a rotary phone recently gifted by Westmoreland County. If installed successfully, Blunders will be calling the rest of the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization for aid in case of an attack by our northern enemies.

Mayor Dogfood of Meadville, capital of West Crawford, is expected to join the fight alongside Mayor Socket of Grove City, capital of Mercer. The Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization has an agreement that an attack on one county is an attack on all. If not for the poor communication between them and the low budget available, they would be consistent with following this standard of defending one another.

Currently, Clarion's three military members have joined the fight in Butler by sheer coincidence of being in the exact same location. Clarion's military has been lost in Butler for several months after they were asked to return home by the allies in the Battle of Franklin. Despite making a wrong turn and getting lost in the county of Butler, Clarion's troops are now rejoined with their allies in Venango and will help in whatever way they can to defeat the Butler military.

Butler's two military men are currently stationed on the northern side of town. They are armed with fine linens, capable of scratching a person's skin when submerged in water and whipped with force. Venango's military is armed with muffin hand grenades and spitballs, which, when doused on the wrong tongue, has the potential to give enemy soldiers COVID. Clarion's military is armed with textbooks, which do absolutely nothing to help them in the fight.

While the Venango County military pursues the enemy in the nation of Allegany, Clarion troops will take on the mission of driving Butler's military out of their region to create an open passage back to Venango.