Venango Drives East Crawford Out of Oil City Right Into Cranberry: Clarion Struck with Plague

The last word was a misspelling. Clarion was not struck with a plague. What we meant to report is that one of the teachers at the university was hit in the head with a plaque commemorating his years of being on staff.

The Venango County Military has successfully driven East Crawford out of Oil City. Unfortunately, it has come at the cost of driving them into the neighboring city of Cranberry Township.

The dilemma facing each military is that East Crawford is sandwiched between the allies of Venango and West Crawford. West Crawford is inferior to East Crawford. This means that when the superior militia of Venango County pushes East Crawford away, there is a chain reaction causing West Crawford to be driven back as well. The following graph simplifies this matter by showing how the militaries would move if they were lined up on a chalkboard.

Currently, the West Crawford military is utilizing the potholes in the Clarion Mall parking lot to help defend the capital building, which shares space with the Cranberry Mall. Mayor Blunders of Oil City is inside the mall praying that the ceiling does not fall on him.

Meanwhile, the Clarion County Military is still engaging the single troop that broke off from the East Crawford Military to attack Route 8 toward Franklin. Clarion has held strong, only giving up 98 percent of Route 8. They are expected to completely fold by morning, giving the enemy access to Franklin, which would afford East Crawford a direct route to Meadville.

East Crawford in red, Clarion in yellow, Venango in teal, West Crawford in dark blue

Jefferson County has done nothing for the war effort since warning the Venango County front lines that they were compromised. They would do more, but we completely forgot to include them in the storyline. We’ll probably just send them back home until something interesting happens.