Venango County Resident Tries to Get Man Fired

Jason Bourne, advertising specialist for the Venango Republic, came extremely close to being reported for associating with our satirical news site. This last Sunday, Bourne posted three of our articles to the Venango Happenings Facebook page. The articles managed to go viral receiving an average of three likes per post. In spite of this positive public response, one user tried to get him fired from his job.

A follower on the Venango Happenings page named "IAMA PRICK" tried to nonchalantly ask Bourne "so... Where do you work???" Our advertising specialist, who recently took up the alias of Jason Bourne to protect his reputation, refused to answer the suspicious question.

"As someone who has starred in four popular action movies, three of which are good, I was too smart to fall for this clever attempt to make me spill information" says Bourne "I saw the question and was like 'WOW! It's bad enough they can see my name 'John Barrymore' as the guy who shared the link. But I don't need these people knowing I work at the Oil City Pizza Hut located at 394 Seneca St, Oil City PA 16301 and whose phone number is (814) 676-0617... If people were to know that, they would surely walk in or call to complain. Then I would lose my job as the guy who grates the cheese!"

The Venango Republic has taken this matter seriously, and for the sake of Barrymore's identity, changed his name on our site to Jason Bourne.

"They say with great power comes great responsibility" says Barrymore (Bourne) "We have a lot of power to make Venango County sound interesting by making fun of the fact that it isn't. Just like Batman, I have to wear the mask of Jason Bourne so that people don't find out I'm John Barrymore who works at the Oil City Pizza Hut located at 394 Seneca St, Oil City PA 16301 and whose phone number is (814) 676-0617. This is not just about my safety, but also the reputation of where I work and the people I love.