Venango County Forgets to Celebrate One Year of Independence

It is currently April, one month after the first anniversary of Venango County's secession from the United States of America. While the negligence of Mayor Blunders forgetting to celebrate his unrecognized nation can technically be blamed on the Venango Republic's author, we are still going to blame Mayor Blunders since he is supposed to be the idiot representing this universe.

On March 10th of 2025, the Venango Republic reported a secession from the union as ordered by self-declared President Mayor Blunders. Shortly thereafter, Blunders drove up the county debt when he mistakenly ordered 30 trillion dollars of food from China City. Thankfully, the United States government did not recognize Blunders' initial secession given that Washington D.C. doesn't know we exist. Venango County was able to rejoin the union, hand the debt over to the United States, and secede one more time.

Despite tricking the union into increasing the United States national debt to 70 trillion, Venango County's second secession still made us a 10th world country. Even worse, we can't celebrate our second secession because it took place on March 17th of 2025. If Blunders wants to have a first anniversary independence day, he has to convince Washington to let us back into the Union, secede a third time, and wait an entire year.

The Venango States of America is more than a year old and we all forgot to celebrate. It looks like we truly don't care for the nation we have fought so hard to preserve. Despite countless rallies with locals chanting the famous phrase "V-S-A! V-S-A!" we were not passionate enough to pay attention to our calendars. Venango County will now go down in history as the first independent nation to forget its own birthday.