Venango County Commences Rotary Phone Strikes on Pittsburgh; Westmoreland Attacks From the East

The war with Allegheny has now progressed to its capital of Pittsburgh. The soldiers making up the Allegheny military have successfully retreated to their homeland with oil cities, rotary phone, and carrier pigeon. Now the three military members making up the Venango County military are laying siege to the city, preparing to fire spitballs upon the steel structures.

The war has been costly for Allegheny, with at least six of their soldiers reportedly taking spitballs to the face. Several of them have succumbed to rust.

Meanwhile, in Oil City, President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America has successfully installed the rotary phone, gifted by Mayor Rebel of Westmoreland County. Together they plan to attack the city of Pittsburgh via telecommunication.

The war first began because Blunders would not stop calling Mayor Steelhead about changing the name of the Allegheny River to the Gulf of Venango. After more than a year of receiving these calls, Mayor Steelhead sent the Pittsburgh military to take Oil City's rotary phone away from them.

Westmoreland learned of this act of aggression and responded by gifting Oil City with a new rotary phone. The phone is now hooked up and a barrage of phone calls will commence shortly.

In Westmoreland County, a similar objective is at hand. While Oil City blows up Mayor Steelhead's phone about the Allegheny River, Mayor Rebel will commence his own barrage of phone calls about gaining more land westward to help increase the size of Westmoreland.

Mayor Servanthood of Butler states that this attack on Pittsburgh will not go unaddressed and that he will send troops to help defend Allegheny if Venango does not withdraw.

In a press briefing today, Blunders responded to Mayor Servanthood, stating that if he does not stand down, the Venango County southern border wall will gain another two-by-four. Currently, it only has one two-by-four sticking out of the ground to keep residents from crossing into Venango County. Blunders believes that another two-by-four will intimidate Butler County, even though it won't.