Venango County Captures Slippery Rock Mayor and His Wife

In a bold operation, the Venango County Military has successfully carried out their mission to capture the mayor of Slippery Rock. This came after several leads cited Slippery Rock as the source of academic trafficking.

In a press briefing today, Vice Mayor Clumsy informed the public that several diplomas were being earned and trafficked into the county through a process called “higher education.”

“At least 3 people have driven to Slippery Rock daily for the last 8 years,” states Vice Mayor Clumsy. “After authorities searched their residence, we managed to confiscate documents with the term ‘doctorate’ attached.”

With the fear of outside knowledge changing the tradition of Venango County’s degradation, the military was ordered to bombard Slippery Rock with as many eggs as the county could afford. After breaking the bank with a carton, military personnel barged into the home of the mayor, holding he and his wife at nerf dart point.

Both have been successfully transported to Oil City with Mayor Blunders stating that Venango will govern Slippery Rock. As for Mayor Smarts of Slippery Rock, he will be kept in isolation to prevent his intelligence having an influence on the locals.