Venango County Border Crisis Heightens with Butler Resident Crossing... then Going Back

The Venango States of America has seen a drastic increase in illegal migration in the last week with a Butler native crossing the border without proper documentation. Border security is at an all-time low. With only three people making up the Venango States military, much focus has been given to the growing crisis with East Crawford on the northern border.

Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville has attempted to send troops to extend the border of East Crawford, forcing the Venango military to be on alert for potential war. Meanwhile, the southern border remains unguarded with irrational fears of residents in southern counties coming over.

"We must secure the border if we are going to maintain the integrity of our newly found nation," states Mayor Blunders. "Our founding fathers wanted this nation to set itself apart from the United States by being closed off to the rest of the world." Mayor Blunders is the only founding father who elected to secede four months ago.

Witnesses say that a Butler resident illegally crossed today with no resistance. Locals were shocked to see that outsiders could enter their country so easily without proper documentation and were ready to scold him. Unfortunately, he took one sniff and crossed back into Butler before anyone could approach.

The Venango County House of Representatives will meet tomorrow to address the matter of border crossing. Speaker of the House, Mayor Blunders’ sister, states that she will hear the matter just for a good laugh. The Speaker of the House hates her brother and is likely to make light of his proposed border wall.