Traffic Light Repairs in Downtown Titusville Have No End in Sight, According to Unreliable Sources

The City of Titusville has halted the repairs on traffic lights between the corner of S Washington and W Spring Street after the budget was wasted on four stop signs at the intersection. According to sources, the City was only able to pay off two stop signs and is now in debt to Meadville for a loan that will likely take them 30 years to pay.

The two cars that typically cross that intersection once every three days state that they are frustrated with the lack of progress in replacing the stop sign at the intersection. According to residents, the traffic lights were an essential part of keeping traffic flowing for the two guys who go through that intersection. Unfortunately now, they are forced to come to a complete stop every single time they approach the signs.

“It is extremely frustrating to not have the luxury of a green light that will grant me the privilege of going through without having to stop,” states Mr. Leadfoot, your typical East Crawford County driver who drives slow despite his impatience. “It takes me 55 minutes to make that 15-minute drive across town. This stop sign just adds to that time. Because I like to look both ways an additional five times when I come to the stop sign. Just to make sure.”

The progress on the stoplight is one that the mayor cannot ensure will be completed in the near future. Unlike big cities like New York, where maintenance men are able to repair traffic lights within a day, the mayor states that this repair could take several years. Not because it's any worse, just because the city can't afford to get it done right now.

Until the traffic light gets fixed, city officials say that locals will have to deal with the stop sign, or take the other roads, which coincidentally also have stop signs. This major inconvenience is one that experts estimate will stunt the Titusville productivity rate to extremes that amount to practically zero. That’s okay, considering the industry left years ago anyways.