Top 5 Things to Do in Venus Pensylvania

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for the time of your... actually, it isn’t that much of an experience, but we’ll make it sound as impressive as we can. It’s Venus!

The City of Venus, known for absolutely nothing, and home to the famous absolutely nothing, resembles the planet of the same name in that there appears to be no intelligent life anywhere. With an industry employing one hundred percent of its two residents, the city thrives on the inflow from those who drive to Clarion for work.

It was genuinely hard to decide what five things to pick for this list mainly because there is not one thing to do in Venus. Nonetheless, we worked as hard as we could to come up with a list of things tourists could enjoy. Note, anything interesting on this list was completely fabricated to get us to the number 5. This is the top five things to do in Venus.

Post Office Tours

The post office in Venus is open to anyone wanting to come inside for complete boredom. What sets this boredom apart from the outside is the fact that nothing is different than the boredom on the outside. Open each day the owner feels like getting out of bed, tourists can come and get a taste of what uninteresting things happen in this building. Mail pickup is the first Tuesday of every year.

Church

Small town folks don’t know what they are missing out on when it comes to the magnitude of congregational sizes in Venus. The average church is so huge, it slightly exceeds the amount of people in their local outhouse.

Stop by the Venus Lutheran Church where the preaching is sure to cure your sleep deprivation. Less traditional? There is also the Venus Evangelical Church. They could use visitors anyway. They haven’t had anyone to evangelize to in decades.

Standing on the Corner Festival

The annual Standing on the Corner Festival draws approximately no people every year. The town gets so busy, the local policeman is forced to shut down no roads due to the traffic that never comes through. Stop on by and look like an idiot to nobody as you stand on a corner for no reason whatsoever. Worried about stepping out into traffic? Do not fear. No one ever drives through this town anyway.

The Historic Abandoned Storefront

Imagine a time when food was available and residents did not have to drive two hours to get it. The abandoned storefront gives visitors a look into what used to be a major part of the town’s existence. What makes this particular location unique is that it doesn’t actually exist because Venus never had a store.

Skyline at Sunset

The Venus skyline is arguably the most anticipated part of someone’s day. Just watch the visual improvement of this town getting covered in darkness. Tourists can enjoy the view of sunlight reflecting off the biggest skyscrapers—provided those rundown barns have windows.

Conclusion

Venus is a very popular place for tourists to avoid. Yearly, the city sees one unfamiliar junker driving through unexpectedly. The town is so beloved, even the people who have heard of it haven’t actually been there. For anyone looking for an eventful getaway, this is without a doubt the best option when your idea of eventful is complete boredom.