Titusville Space Program Reaches New Heights at an Altitude of 25 Feet

Titusville, known for their historical accomplishments in space exploration, has achieved a new level of success in the altitude of their rocket launches. TASA, the Titusville Aeronautics and Space Administration, had taken a 5 month break from space exploration after a cold war with Venango County bankrupted the eastern side of Crawford County. Circumstances changed however when a 20 dollar bill was discovered inside someones pocket.

The bill was immediately used to refund the TASA space program. TASA scientists took a trip to Walmart and bought a rocket in the toy section which they felt was best suited for their needs. The mission was almost unsuccessful had they not managed to wrestle the last rocket out of the hands of a kid who was trying to buy it for his class project. While this took several minutes, both employees were able to get the child off of their chests by offering to buy him a jelly roll in exchange for the rocket.

After leaving the store, both scientists, who have graduated with honors in the 6th grade, attempted to launch the rocket just outside of Burger King. The rocket managed to go an astronomical 25 feet into the air which is a record for the town. This beats their record from last April where they were only able to make it ten feet, yet still declared they had been to space.

"We look at things from the perspective that Earth is in space, meaning that we launched ours into space when it left the ground" states Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, capital of East Crewford County.

Experts fear this accomplishment may cause another cold war to begin between the two super powers of North Western PA. Venango has already prepared for war in the past, but was forced to stop because they ran out of money. Titusville, after sending two troops to invade Tionesta last month, still hasn't raised the money to send a vehicle to pick up their military from the edge of the road.

With space exploration reaching new levels, we can be certain that Venango County will be responding to Titusville as soon as they can find the coffee can containing the Oil City treasury.