Timmy Returns to Venango: Meets Elk Military at Base of Seneca Hill

The Venango States of America has seen their first engagement after weeks of the enemy’s absence. Fortunately, it came just outside of the county capital of Oil City, with Venango’s youngest military member meeting the enemy head-on.

Little 9-year-old Timmy has finally returned from his mission to liberate West Forest County. The seven-week journey through Allegheny National Forest has ended with Timmy finding his way back because nobody could afford the drive. What a time to return as well. Elk forces were coming down Seneca Hill just as Timmy came to the intersection on Rt. 68. He didn’t even have to fire one spitball because his bad hygiene from seven weeks without showering was enough to deter them.

President Mayor Blunders climbed from the lower levels of City Hall, where he typically goes during a county crisis. Since both of them reeked, neither of them could smell each other. Blunders was able to perform another Medal of Honor ceremony for Timmy, who seems to have a knack for driving enemy forces away.

9 year old Timmy gets second medal of honor this year

Blunders has instructed Timmy not to shower for the remainder of the war. Timmy’s parents, who are serving a prison sentence due to the Forest County mission resulting in seven weeks of tardiness from school, will be set free next week. Blunders has further instructed Timmy to remain tardy so his mother remains imprisoned. She can’t make him shower if she’s still in the slammer.