Spouse in Critical Condition After Over Exposure to Inlaws

A woman is in critical condition after suffering from overloaded blood pressure. According to sources, Pam Spraycooker of Acenes Township was rushed to the hospital with blood pressure only before seen in hostage negotiations.

The event took place around 3:45 PM after Spraycooker finished scraping the grease off her panhandle. According to sources, Spraycooker was seen falling to the floor, panting in extreme frustration, as her mother-in-law kept commenting on the drapes.

This is not the first instance of Spraycooker experiencing heart failure. Last month, while shopping for a chicken coop, her husband insisted on allowing his parents to give each pen a walkthrough. Spraycooker says she tried to emphasize the need for southern sun exposure but was treated like she wasn't even present. The husband wound up settling for a chicken wire fence held together with duct tape.

“It's just incredibly frustrating to have them involved in every life decision, big or small,” Spraycooker told the Wilson volleyball in her bedroom. “They walked him down the aisle as if to say they were giving him up. He even promised to trust my leadership and build a life with me.” Unfortunately, the volleyball had no sound advice for the woman driven out of her mind.

Mrs. Spraycooker trying to cope with no blood on her hands.

It is unclear what steps doctors must take for Spraycooker's recovery. According to clinicians, they still haven't been able to discuss her medical history because the in-laws are refusing to put her file back in the cabinet.

“Once they stop giving advice, we can start focusing on her well-being,” Dr. Scalpel told the press at the ICUP Medical Center in Seneca. “We've called security, but they become exhausted halfway to the door. Then, the in-laws come back.”

In hindsight, Spraycooker's husband says he “should have done better” and will consult his parents on what boundaries he needs once his wife is healthy enough to hear their opinion. Doctors are preparing her hearse just in case.