Smokey Bones’ Owner Regrets Not Serving Meat on the Bone

After 27 years of proudly serving the community, Smokey Bones sadly announced a permanent closure that shocked the region. According to sources, the owner was unable to make a profit on selling specially smoked skeletal remains. Not even his cracked, ribless chunks could save the business.

“We had a wide selection of bones that we would cook on the grill with our special homemade seasonings,” states Chef Skeleton. “From bat spine to moose jaw, people would come in seven nights a week to enjoy our calcified jawbreaker dishes.”

Unfortunately, the modern generation has come to perceive that it is much tastier to discard the bone rather than the meat. With Smokey Bones failing to adapt to modern preferences, the declining interest in their customer base led to them opening a brand-new chapter—Chapter 11, to be exact.

Smokey Bones will no longer be serving the Millcreek Mall with their hard-to-chew dinners. The same mall, which, if someone doesn't do something fast, will begin to look like a Smokey Bones afterthought.