Sidewalk Repair Halted Until Everyone Thinks the Same Way

A broken sidewalk remains cracked after months of dispute between officials of the Venango County Senate. According to sources, Minority Leader Kendra Lutelute claims she is being reasonable despite refusing to vote in favor of the sidewalk repair.

Hours of debate left members of the Egocentric Party enraged. With only one vote needed to finalize the sidewalk repair bill, Kendra Lutelute refused to cast her support for the decision, claiming that the job could compromise the town’s authenticity.

As one of the few senators elected from the Hypocrite Party, Lutelute is said to be the most uncompromising member of the local government. Last week, the Egocentric Party managed to compromise for half a drop of sidewalk seal in exchange for doubling the County's annual spending.

Lutelute was caught on video telling the senate that she refused to support the bill to fix the sidewalk. Later, she told the press that her constant efforts to pass the sidewalk bill were consistently “being shot down.” Lutelute has yet to explain in detail what those “efforts” were.

As for the rest of the Senate, the Egocentric Party says they will continue working with Lutelute until they can get all 500 drops needed to seal the sidewalk. Experts state that at this rate, it should be accomplished after Mother Nature covers the town in dirt.