Santa Stuck in Western PA After Pothole Swallows His Sleigh

The jolly fat man will not be delivering presents for the rest of the night. According to sources, the world-renowned Santa Claus made a stop at the border between Venango and Clarion County and miraculously accidentally got his sleigh stuck in a pothole.

How deep is this pothole, you ask? According to officials from PennDOT, even the reindeer got stuck in the depths, with Santa Claus plugging up the hole. To make matters worse, the pothole is so narrow, the reindeer can’t find enough room for a head start to take off.

Rescue crews are putting forth their best effort to try to remove Santa from the hole in hopes that the deer and sleigh are not crushed.

Meanwhile, national news networks are asking where Santa is because no one else in the world knows that Venango and Clarion exist. Once Santa is confirmed missing, they won’t know who to blame because both counties aren’t important enough to make it on a geographical map.

In the unlikely event that someone outside of Western PA receives this message, we are sorry that Christmas is ruined. We tried to warn Santa to stay away from this side of the state, since all it seems to bring is bad luck. Unfortunately, the bad luck has fallen on him as well, leaving the rest of the world without Christmas gifts this year.