Region in State of Mild Panic After First Snow Fall of Season

A mild dusting changed to a heavy downpour last night with much of the region waking to an inch of snow. According to reality, the ground outside is now covered in what has been widely declared the "first snowfall of the season" primarily because this is the first snowfall of the season.

School boards are discussing whether this matter requires immediate action to ensure the safety of nobody. With children no more vulnerable to disease than they were 40 years ago, some have suggested schools may need to consider taking a day to allow the snow time to melt. Experts are saying that failure to wait could result in the worst outcome since yesterday’s best outcome.

Traffic also brings anticipation of major wrecks along the border of Antarctica. We would have referenced a location in Western Pennsylvania, but the snow just isn't that deep. Consequently, drivers have already reported fender benders after intentionally wrecking the cars themselves just to give us something to report.

As for the homeless, they still have their crumbling houses on the north side of Oil City. Not much to report there either.

Stay inside, pretend the matter is hopeless, and wait two hours for this "tragic" event to pass.