Razor Wire Tampons Being Sued For Offering Lethal Products

The Razor Wire Tampons company is being sued for a recent decision to come out with a new product line. According to sources, the Taser Wire Tampon line caused a woman to break her hip when the got stunned and fell off the toilet. The company CEO is facing major backlash for failing to warn users of the potential harm.

According to CEO Tampon Tampoff, the label strictly says "do not use if you have common sense." Tampoff argues that if the woman used his product, she obviously recieved the result the product was meant to produce.

On the opposition, Miss Shirly Imdumb's attorney says that his client was not expecting a full body tase. Instead, she only wanted a shock big enough to keep herself happy that afternoon. Imdumb is suing the the Razor Wire Tampons company for delivering taser levels too high for her body to handle.

Tampoff suggests that the taser tampon products are meant to break hips. However, he has no idea why Imdumb was using his product on the toilet in the first place. When asked what he thought tampons were used for, he simply answered "aren't they like a woman's survival tool for camping in the wild or something?????" This explains why he thought razors were a good idea....

The hearing takes place next week. If the defense loses, Tampoff will not only have to buy Imdumb a new hip, but will be forced to give her a lifetime supply of taser tampons..... We aren't exactly sure why she wants them either......