President Trump Steps Down After Franklin Protesters Leave Him No Choice

Protests in isolated regions around the United States have fallen short of their objective for months, as tiny farming communities like Minneapolis and Los Angeles have not had the population necessary to get through to Washington. Finally, the metropolis of Franklin in Venango County, Pennsylvania, has stepped up with a crowd amassing to 15 people. President Trump announced less than an hour after the protest that he will no longer remain in office for fear of what these protesters could do.

“Washington does not have the security necessary to hold off such thugs,” stated the President in a press briefing today. “With all our focus on obtaining Greenland to defend against minor forces like Russia or dealing with the cartel in Mexico, we know that this force in Franklin is one we cannot reckon with.”

After his press briefing, the President immediately snuck out the back with the help of Secret Service members, who elected to no longer protect him for fear of their own reputation. Instead, the President was aided with a donkey and a long stick with a handkerchief on the end. His family is estimated to be somewhere in the Washington Mall, making their way to Cuba.

“We just didn't realize what damage this was causing to the American people,” states Marco Rubio, who says that he will now become a Democrat and renounce his entire lifelong belief system. “The Franklin protesters finally helped me see the light so that I will no longer go by way of those terrible Republicans.”

With the sudden impact that Venango County's protesters have had on the United States government, officials are now considering moving the capital to Franklin, Pennsylvania, or possibly the heart of Oil City. The Democrat Party is quickly working to replace the Republicans with much more fitting figures. Unfortunately, they have only been able to find other politically-minded pricks to take the place of the other pricks.

Washington is now calling on Oil City to find noble leaders worthy to run the nation. With the metropolis of Oil City and Franklin being so close together, it only makes sense that the minds that are geniusly allowing this region to thrive should be given the reins of the United States government. Impoverished individuals like Donald Trump will no longer be in office as the government now rests in the hands of the rich populace of Venango County. This is all thanks to 15 protesters uselessly standing outside of a courthouse.