PLATO Agrees to Send Troops in Collaboration to Overthrow Erie's Pizza Cartel

Several pizza detonations across the nations of West Crawford, Mercer, and Venango County have now led the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization (PLATO) to consider sending military forces into Erie borders. Although Erie itself is not responsible, Mayor Paranoia of Erie has failed to successfully put away the mobs responsible for selling explosive pizzas on the black market. Consequently, six detonations have impacted several lives.

Less than ten minutes before his job interview

The nations of Forest, Venango, Clarion, Jefferson, Mercer, and West Crawford unilaterally agreed to send one troop apiece into Erie's capital of Erie to find the leaders of the Pizza Cartel, which is primarily headed by one Margarette Diesel Myarmsweak.

We did our best to make her look happy

Myarmsweak has been at large after eating six too many pizzas. Although it is politically incorrect to make such a joke, you can see why we make an exception here. If still think the joke is in poor taste, look up Evil Genius and get an education.

Mercer County was going to send two troops specially trained from the Grove City Outlets Military Academy. Unfortunately, one of them stuck his golf club in his mouth socket and died of electrocution.

Born with his unique handicap

Mayor Dogfood of West Crawford states that he will be sending more military armed with Meow Mix. Dogfood already has several boots on the ground. As soon as they put on the boots, they will head straight for Erie.

The nations of Venango, Clarion, and Jefferson find themselves in a much more compromising position. With the Battle of Oil City raging on, troops are scattered on all fronts to defend against the invading forces of the Zugnar Alliance.

Jefferson troops fend off the Warren military

President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America says he will send a company of 30 men armed with the best military-grade weapons. This is a flat-out lie given that Venango only has 3 members armed with spitball launchers and muffin hand grenades. Additionally, they can't afford enough gas to drive to Erie.

Forest County says they will send one troop armed with a fishing pole. Unfortunately, with Clarion and Northern Venango under control of the Zugnar Alliance, they are completely surrounded and cannot escape to send anyone.

The Clarion military is made up of complete idiots. They are so notorious for getting lost, they only have a hope of getting to their destination if sent in the opposite direction.

Clarion military still where we left them two days ago

It is unlikely that the entirety of PLATO will unify despite the unilateral agreement between each member. The Pizza Cartel will continue to exist, and the world will suffer the consequence of having to buy new white shirts. For an extra measure of precaution, wear darker clothing.