Place Oil Industry Died at Brags How they are it's Birthplace

A county in northwestern Penylvania is once again bragging that they once had oil. What is most unique about this brag however, is that those gloating have no one to brag to but themselves because nobody ever visits them.

According to a survey conducted this past week, all 55 people who make up the population of Venango County say that they are proud even though they wasted their only valuable resource. Residents say they plan to celebrate this resource they no longer have by holding another annual "Oil Heritage Fest" which coincidentally, draws less people than the population of their broken economy.

"We are so excited to have another festival comemorating the days before our rapid decline" states Denial Optimist, a local optimist who cosistently lives in denial.

City leaders are working around the clock to ensure that the festival is ten times more interesting than past years. The only problem is that, if ten times zero is still zero, then ten times this uninteresting event will still equal an uninteresting event. Researchers at Clarion University warn that coordinators behind the event will still probably brag it is interesting because of how interesting it "used" to be. Fortunately, nobody outside the county will ever have to put up with this brag because they don't know Venango exists.