Pizza Explodes Outside Downtown Mall in Meadville

Authorities are investigating what appears to be an intentional attack on the Meadville downtown mall. According to sources, a strange pizza box was left outside the downtown mall at around 4:15 Wednesday afternoon, just prior to an explosion that left the area covered in cheese and pepperoni.

West Crawford federal authorities are investigating the incident to determine whether the attack is internal or an inter-county attack. So far, they have no leads, with speculations about the melted cheese up in the air.

Townsfolk are devastated by the incident, stating that the cleanliness of the mall is their favorite part about Meadville. Experts say that the cheesy mess could take days for cleanup crews to address. With the downtown mall being the center hub for trade and financial flow in West Crawford, authorities suspect that this may be the cause of a rival county.

No one was hurt in the incident; however, at least three people reported that their shirts were stained by the pizza sauce as they were on their way home from work at PNC. Those victimized by the flying sauce state that their white button-ups were the highest end on the market and will cost several paychecks to replace.

Rated "M" for Marinara

As investigations continue into who caused the pizza explosion, Mayor Dogfood of Meadville states that West Crawford is officially at war. Speculation surrounding the incident varies, with Erie being the primary suspect. Mayor Dogfood states that he will offer aid to those impacted by the incident by providing a dish of Meow Mix to each victim courtesy of the Smucker’s factory. For the record, Smucker’s did not agree to this order.