PennDOTT Promising Road Construction to be Complete by the Time Jesus Returns

When winter ends, drivers are relieved to have endured the traffic delays brought on by inclement snowy weather conditions. Spring arrives, and those behind the drivers seats are ready to push that speedometer to 5, and maybe even 10 miles above the speed limit, depending on how rebelious they feel like being.

The drivers are free to go the speed limit without the fear of slipping and flipping. They roll down their windows and experience the joys of playing arm in the wind while trying to keep their limbs from hitting solid objects they are passing. All seems fine until they turn the corner and see some depressed dehydrated kid wearing dirt stained jeans and holding a stop sign. It is in this moment you are given a choice: Wait, or...... That's actually it.... You hit that gas pedal and you are going to jail....

Seconds go by..... Minutes..... Hours..... Now your just exaggerating! You need to be at your appointment 2 minutes ago but your procastination tendencies have forced you to leave no hang time for yourself. And now, your ability to drive is at the mercy of some guy holding a sign with multi personality disorder.

You wait, and wait, and wait, until finally, he starts to turn that sign to the side that says slow. Unfortunately, he's doing it SOOOOO SLOWLY! Halfway into turning it and ten minutes have already past. This is the worst day ever!

Fortunately, according to people we made up for the sake of lying about this promise, PennDOT will probably have every road done before Jesus returns. This promise came to us after we decided to lie about PennDOT making a promise they would never make.

"It feels good to know that Jesus will come to find complete roads and nobody working outside" said absolutely nobody. "The roads have to be dug up yearly because otherwise, we would have no reason to keep our construction workers." Much like if Taylor Swift stopped breaking up with people, without road blocks, they would have no career.

Locals are excited to learn that this will not last forever. Although Jesus might choose not to come until after we have flying cars and no need for roads, citizens of the area have expressed excitment over the promise that Penndott did not actually make because we are a bunch of liars. DON'T READ OUR CONTENT! WE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!