Pajama Pants at School on the Rise

With the rise in pajama pants trends at school, parents are worried that Generation Alpha is shifting too heavily in the direction of a redneck persona. A recent study found that more than 200% of all children are attending school daily wearing sleep clothes featuring their favorite characters, such as Spongebob and Mickey Mouse. Consequently, a trip to school is beginning to look like a midnight shopping trip to Walmart, or trip to Rouseville. Several teachers are wondering if parents are even bothering to check what their kids are wearing before they send them off to school, or if kids are taking time to change somewhere anonymously after they leave the house.

According to research conducted by Venango University, the sudden change in direction of "hip clothing" could be due to how much laziness technology has promoted in the lives of our children. Research suggests that adolescents are spending several hours on their phones due to the negligence of their parents. Further evidence that parents are influencing this is the fact that such individuals (like you) are currently reading this article, suggesting that they don't have much of a life.

Researchers fear that if the negligence continues, that conditions may worsen, with adolescents becoming too lazy to focus on personal hygiene. Of course, with this being Western Pensylvania, that trend is already in effect with at least 98% of the population.

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Another study found that the last paragraph offended about 89% of the readers who took part in observing this article. In a controlled study where you, the reader, were brutally insulted over your bad hygene habits, scientists were able to determine an extreme level of pajama induced apathy which once again proved that the lazy self centeredness is out of control.

Consequently, scientists at Venango University are working hard to find a remedy to this laziness driving the apathetic stinky pajama phase. Early testing has already wielded great results with a taser proving to be an effective tool for adults and children alike. However, more study is needed to determine if this is the right course of action.