Oil City Spared as Warren’s Launched Diaper Accidentally Hits Titusville

It's a mistake—a fifteen-mile-off-course mistake, to be exact. Warren County's diaper missile missed its target so badly, it struck the capital of their ally, East Crawford. This came less than three days after East Crawford, Warren County, and Elk County signed a treaty to form the Zugnar Alliance.

Warren County has not played a major role in the war between the counties. Other than their diaper assault on Tionesta last February, no major intervention has been made against the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization.

Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization (PLATO) in blue

Now, with Elk County controlling the nation of Jefferson County and making progress toward Clarion County’s capital of Clarion, Warren has taken an aggressive measure that ended in the worst way possible. Titusville is covered in baby poop.

"We are humiliated but not broken by this obvious technical glitch caused by Venango County intelligence." Mayor Dumbdumb told the community.

Dumdum speaks at Titusville rally

Venango County doesn't have a department of intelligence. Only one resident has graduated the third grade, and they are still working to help the rest of the community do the same. Nonetheless, Dumbdumb is convinced that the diaper, launched by catapult, was sabotaged by someone hacking its internal GPS. Given the magnitude of this mistake, Warren went along with Dumbdumb’s allegations.

"We are not about to be blamed for redirecting a diaper toward our enemy in Titusville," President Mayor Blunders told the press outside of City Hall.

Blunders speaks after surfacing from the outhouse

When news of the diaper striking Titusville came to Blunders, he did not hesitate to climb out of the lower level of City Hall, which also serves as the City Outhouse. Venango County Secret Service agents advised Blunders to avoid disputing the claims made by Dumbdumb. Blunders did it anyway, believing that defending Venango's honor was more important than the advantage of seeming technologically superior.

Venango County is expected to face another assault now that Blunders has spilled the beans. Locals are encouraged to consider signing up for the Venango County military, given we only have three members—one of which is still stuck in Marienville.