Oil City Mayor Declares Venango An Independent Country

Oil City, we need to talk about this Mayor... I understand that nobody in our town progressed beyond the second grade, but this man we keep electing is a moron! 3 weeks ago he declared Oil City the capital despite not knowing what State he resides in. Now this morning, he signs an executive order for succession, declaring our 10 by 10 mile county of 52 residents the Venango States of America. "V-S-A! V-S-A!"

Why is this a problem you ask? We don't even have a military! The city policemen literally use spitballs in firefights because the city budget can't afford guns. Nonetheless, he's still going through with it because he thinks we are a superpower.

I begged Mayor Blunder... I pleaded with him not to do this embarrassing thing! I said "Mayor, think of the size of your county! Much of the world doesn't know you exist!"

"Really?" He asked

I sighed thinking I got through to him...

"Wow! That means we have the element of surprise!"

Now he's raising an army of 5 men to invade the surrounding counties... They too will be carrying straws with spitballs! This is the single dumbest thing he's done since ordering the invasion of Union City believing they possessed "weapons of mass destruction" all because some visiting 7 year old egged him on Halloween!

Oil City, we need to impeach this Mayor. His name literally is Blunder! Yes, half the town likes him. Many of them were chearing today when he exited the City Hall/outhouse and were shouting "V-S-A! V-S-A!" That's stands for Venango States of America. Mind you... What States are we talking about?