Oil City Armory Low, Trades Places With Dispatcher Unit

It has been reported by the very unsuccessful Explore Venango that the Oil City Armory will be trading places with the 911 Dispatcher Unit due to increased crime and low funds for weaponry. This came two weeks after Oil City announced that they would be cutting their motor cycle cops down to roller skates.

"We are having such a difficult time keeping up with the demand for standard gear for our officers" stated Mayor Blunders of Oil City "crime has increased incredibly and the city has an easier time affording 911 dispatchers than it does people who can stop the crime."

The armory was once home to housing equiptment for the National Gaurd but was eventauly abandoned when the feds realized nothing in Western Pensylvania was worth defending. The facility was later used to house the equiptment for local police. It consisted of handguns in 2010, but in recent years downgraded to 3 spitball shooters.

Due to the decrease in city budgetary funding, the drug lords of Oil City have taken advantage of the opportunity to increase their inventories. Police have tried to perform raids of the main facility under Veterines Bridge, but unfortunately have been unsuccessful since these drug lords make up the voting population.

Sketchy drug operation building beneath veterans bridge.

Oil City has now decided to combat the increased crime with more dispatchers. Although they have police to inform of the crimes being reported, it is a nice addition to the town.

The dispatchers will be moving into the armory this week and will be trained on the switchboards that have been there since 1910. It is predicted that the dispatchers will take up 95% of the emergency response in Venango County. With there only being one ambulance and a fire fighting carriage with a dead horse, Mayor Blunders in confident we are on the right track as a county.