Northhampton Woman Tests Walmart's "Take What You Need" Policy

A Northhampton woman is facing charges of theft after putting faith in the unlikely scenario of all Walmart security cameras not working. According to information provided by the Clarion Psych, Mrs. Three's Acharm of Northhampton loaded an entire cart of unspecified items before taking off in a vehicle she imagined into existence.

"I assumed that if you pretend police don't exist, that somehow that would help me get away," states Acharm. "I completely forgot to pretend I had a vehicle before trying to outrun the cops."

Acharm is said to have made off with over half a grand of items, including a cart that could only be successfully stolen in LA. Now, she must convince police that she doesn't exist if she has any hope of avoiding charges.

"I tried to give them a fake name, hoping that their computers didn't work," Acharm told the press as she wished her straight jacket out of existence. "Unfortunately, once again, my attempt to manipulate reality failed."

Walmart has not commented as to why their security cameras failed to stop working when Acharm left the store. When walking into the store, we discovered that attempting to steal will always result in charges when caught. That's not to say we tested it ourselves. We just looked to Acharm as an example.