New Graph Reveals Venango County's Lost Teritory
Significant ground has been lost as a result of the recent invasion of Venango County. Military personnel are scattered between Cranberry and Franklin with three armies struggling to combat East Crawford’s military of two men.
The German shepherd fighting force armed with Meow Mix is pinned down in the potholes outside of the Cranberry Mall. Sources say there are at least five personnel in this group sent by the West Crawford military struggling to prevent advances by East Crawford.
Meanwhile, Oil City is close to combining forces with West Crawford at the Cranberry Mall. The only thing standing between them is the single soldier sent by East Crawford armed with spitballs and muffin hand grenades.
The potholes outside the mall serve several purposes between acting as trenches for military serving the county and acting as pits for enemies to fall into. Last year, East Crawford’s invasion resulted in retreat when one of their soldiers was lost to a pothole. They occasionally toss crackers inside in case he is still breathing.
In Franklin, Pennsylvania, the military of Clarion County has folded like a cheap university textbook. The three men sent by Clarion for the defense of Venango County have chosen to spend more time reading than launching projectiles at the enemies. Consequently, nobody in the groups seems to have any clue what direction they are heading. When instructed to draw the enemy to Rockland, they continued straight down the four lanes into Franklin. When instructed to turn left and draw the enemy back toward Seneca, they turned right and drew the enemy right into the business district.
Consequently, half of Franklin is now compromised because the three university students, who are supposed to be intellectually superior to Venango residents, have no idea how to decipher their right from their left. In other news, we have recently learned that these three may not even graduate because they are the bottom of their class. This probably suggests that Mayor Intellect of Clarion probably sent them as a joke… thanks a lot!
County War 1 is failing for the Allies. Venango County is losing ground quickly. Meanwhile, Mercer still hasn’t come to the aid of anyone, making this treaty between the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization a complete piece of garbage.
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