Most Profitable Product in Venango County Stock Market

The Venango County Stock Market is a mix of various failed investments that never seem to go anywhere. This year, investors thought there was undoubtedly a potential for chicken beaked can openers. Unfortunately, the product line failed to produce interest due to the fact that the idea is stupid.

From pig skinned t-shirts to vomit colored toilets made of rotting wood, there just does not seem to be enough successful variation for investors to choose from. Nonetheless, there does seem to be one product that consistently brings in consistent revenue yearly under the Oil City Veterines Bridge. This product is a bit controversial because those selling it seem to become rich while those purchasing it are ruined for life. We here at the Venango Republic thought it would be worth noting this one product line so investors know where the real money lies in Oil City and the surrounding county.

According to sources, drugs are arguably the most profitable industry in the county. With revenues reaching to insurmountable proportions, it goes without saying that the drug lords of the bridge connecting the North and Southside are probably the biggest investors of the regions. Their revenue is so profitable in fact, the Mayor has considered taking out a loan from them to help balance the city budget.

The question remains... Should investors take this step despite the fact that it is not technically legal? According to the drug lords, they have been getting away with it for years because their customers keep voting in representatives who do nothing to stop them. This seems to indicate that for now, it is a safe option. No! We are NOT advocating it! We are just making a joke you freaks!

For those who understand the satiracle message behind this article, please translate this sarcasm to the Oil City representatives who have every ability to do something about this yet choose not to. It's pretty pathetic that your towns most profitable product is a substance that ruins people for life. Take a hint. Those of us with brains want you to do something to remedy this.