Misplaced Sign Welcomes People Too Soon

It is another cause for dispute between East Crawford in its rivalry with Venango County. A sign claiming more territory than what Google has permitted Titusville to possess is causing widespread confusion over the implication that the township is bigger than it actually is. The damage? Over a thousand meters, which equates to roughly 3,280 feet by English standards. To help put this into perspective, that's just over six hundred twenty-one thousandths of the 5,280 feet that make up a mile. We have created a diagram to show this concept in its simplest form.

Errors may exist in the logic

The origins of the sign are unknown. But passersby noted Monday that it welcomes people to Titusville way before they ever reach the actual town. Consequently, those living between the sign and the actual border are stunned to learn that they are not actually Titusville citizens. Those who are citizens are now observing them as outcasts.

"I just can't believe I am actually of Venango County blood," states Mr. Oil Guzzler of that unmarked dirt road which begins right on the actual border of Titusville.

Dirt road just outside of Titusville

"I was welcomed with open arms for years. Today, people downtown won't stop looking at me with suspicion."

Ironically, Titusville says they will not allow the sign to be removed, citing the territory as their own. Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville has since signed an executive order stating that any attempt to remove the sign will result in a new sign being placed ten feet closer to Oil City.

President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America addressed the matter before the press today after taking his time to ensure the media microphones were not bugged. He states that if Dumbdumb places a new sign ten feet closer after the initial sign is removed, Venango County will use military force to build their own sign, claiming the first ten feet of Titusville as Venango County territory.

Upon hearing this threat, Dumbdumb retaliated with the threat of constructing another sign even ten feet closer than the one replacing the first sign.

Blunders retaliated, threatening to replace his sign with one claiming ten more feet of Titusville territory.

The debate is still going on. Blunders has already claimed as far as Fat Chad's, while Dumbdumb is still trying to reach the Penn RV Center so he can claim to have something worthwhile. The debate is expected to continue until one of the signs finally lands at the border of Erie or Butler. Until then, both mayors are standing outside announcing retaliations to press members who have already gone home.

Dumbdumb on left, Blunders on the right

We will keep you up to date on the progress of these situations.