Mini Ghostrider Terrorizes Neighborhood

The industrial city of Millcreek is on high alert after a vague Facebook post has warned of a child riding a motor bike. According to the information, the child is "not a safe driver let alone a legal one." Given the vague context and multiple ways that sentence can be interpreted, we have no choice but to assume worst case scenario and report that the child is a menace.

Fictional experts are warning residents to stay off the road even if they drive a heavier vehicle. Young Evel Knievel is too dangerous to be around and may be capable of bulldozing an entire house.

If anyone sees or hears the rider passing by, please contact Jenny immediately at 8675309. Or, if you are from illiterate land, pkease call Jenny at 8675309.

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Remember, this child is not legal, meaning he may be deported to Canada if the feds can get him off his bike. They just need to figure out how to match 14 MPH.