Millcreek Says They Want to Control Erie County
Mayor Wastecash of Millcreek has officially revealed why his township has kept Erie at the end of its Mall Gun's barrel for half a century. In a press briefing this morning, the coyote in sheep's clothing told the press that Millcreek has been waiting for the opportunity to take over the City of Erie, thereby claiming themselves as the county seat.
It has been an act of genius planning. After erecting the building in 1975, Millcreek led the City of Erie to believe the Mall Gun was to protect them from Canada, thereby preventing another War of 1812. Instead, after years of silence, it became clear that the British were not coming. Thus, the Mall Gun's true purpose has been seen as a means to oppress the people of Erie.
Today, the City of Erie has failed to show any kind of defense to prevent Millcreek from using their weapon of mass destruction against them. To make matters worse, Mayor Wastecash is threatening to fire the gun before moving forces into the region.
What hope exists for the capital city of Erie? Do they have the means necessary to defend themselves against the Mall Gun? Will Mayor Wastecash and his military of Millcreek successfully invade Erie? All this, and other pointed answers now, because we don't feel like waiting to get to the climax.....
According to dialect experts, Gannon University is a corruption of the word cannon. This genius move by Erie to create a university predating the Mall Gun by 50 years apparently has advantaged the city with a giant weapon of their own. In this case, it is in the form of a skyscraper.
It seems that Erie somehow knew in 1925 that Millcreek would try to build their own gun. Consequently, they decided to build a giant cannon, or "Gannon" in the ancient Erie dialect, to defend their city.
The question is when they will reveal this secret weapon to Millcreek. Everyone knows that Millcreek's patience only has about a 52-year cutoff point. The Mall Gun will be exactly that age next year, and Erie will have to decide if they want to wait for the last day before they reveal their secret weapon.
Also, to the Catholic university known as Gannon, we should mention that the Protestants are trying to outshine your skyscraper down the road.
We're not sure why they are speaking plural for one building, but ok....
Mayor Paranoia of Erie is still hiding under his matress ever since learning the Mall Gun could fire. We have yet to learn if he plans to be a part of the decision to fire the gannon.
The city may have to make this decision on thier own...
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