Millcreek Mayor Says He Will Not Disassemble Massive Gun Pointed Toward Erie

The Millcreek mayor says that he will not be dismantling Millcreek's largest artillery, despite threats of political sanctions imposed by the Erie mayor. According to sources from the Millcreek Mafia Times, Mayor Wastecash of Millcreek intends to keep the giant gun located in Kearsarge pointed toward the neighboring city as a means to enforce authority.

In response, Mayor Paranoia of Erie announced his intent to pay the Pizza Cartel to plant hundreds of pasta detonators all over the Millcreek Mall in an attempt to destroy the structure. The Pizza Cartel, headed by one Margaret Diesel Myarmsweak, is wanted by several counties for discharging pizza explosives in highly populated areas.

Wanted in 4 counties. Call Jenny at 8675309.

He just bought that shirt

Now Erie has become desperate to the point of sacrificing moral dignity to end the superpower that is Millcreek. In response to the threat of pizza detonations, Mayor Wastecash of Millcreek accused Mayor Paranoia of inter-township crimes worthy of humiliation. Mayor Paranoia of Erie hit back, accusing Mayor Wastecash of being a wolf in sheep's clothing. Wastecash denied the allegations, stating that he is in fact a coyote in sheep's clothing. He then took back that statement insisting he's just a sheep.

Mayor Wastecash sheepishly dropping money everywhere

The inter-township conflict remains heated between the two superpowers of Erie's northern region. The weapon is functional, according to political leaders in the Millcreek region. Meanwhile, Erie is adamant that the mall must be destroyed if the neighboring towns are to be at peace once again.

There is no telling what projectiles the massive storm trooper like weapon can fire. Whether it be giant bullets, or products within the stores, Erie is on high alert until the matter can be put to rest.