Millcreek Encirclement Leaves Erie One Means of Escape in Case of Invasions

"We are completely surrounded," states Mr. Westmoreland of Westmoreland County. "I'm not even from this region, and even I have strong opinions about it."

Millcreek lays claim to three major sections of land, limiting the city of Erie to only one route of escape if they are ever turned on. In that situation, they have to trust that Wesleyville won't be joining Millcreek.

"It's really a scary thought that keeps me awake at night," states Mr. Fear Factor of Erie, Pennsylvania. "I'm genuinely scared that Wesleyville will not allow us to pass through their region if ever Millcreek tries to invade."

Millcreek's control over Erie has been a subject of conversation for generations. Some even argue that they feel as if they are under Millcreek's thumb all the time.

I'm not the only one who sees it

With Millcreek laying claims to Presque Isle, residents of Erie do not have a direct escape route by way of the lake, meaning they are forced to keep good relations with Wesleyville at all costs. Unfortunately, it literally comes at all costs.

"Our $12 million deficit isn't actually because of poor budgeting over the last 10 years," states one political leader. "We've actually been bribing Wesleyville to ensure that they don't join Millcreek in the case of an inter-township conflict."

Bribery is logical but not a guaranteed safety net for the city of Erie. If Wesleyville can justify a greater reward in an allegiance with Millcreek, they likely will take it, putting more pressure on Erie to pay their 12 million dollar debt. No direct assault has ever been performed against Erie. But Millcreek's decision to point a giant pistol in their direction has not helped in de-escalating tensions.

It's a storm trooper gun. They'll probably miss the target.

Political sanctions have been placed on Millcreek to no avail. According to Mayor Paranoia of Erie, there is no guarantee that the pistol is not loaded, meaning that it can go off at any unexpected moment.

Mayor Paranoia signs executive order for sanctions on Millcreek

"They claim that it's a mall," Mayor Paranoia told the press. "But then I learned that one of their stores is called Victoria's Secret. Who is Victoria? What is her secret?"

The Venango Republic cannot disclose this information due to the provocative nature of Victoria's Secret. We had to end the interview here because Mayor Paranoia claimed to be seeing demonic possessed underwear on the ceiling.

The discharge of that giant weapon is the greatest fear factor in the unresolved conflict between Erie and Millcreek. If ever put to use, the residents of Erie may not survive the blast, making an exit point through Wesleyville an illegitimate option. Erie has constructed their own machine gun in response, but accidentally pointed it the wrong direction.

We know it's a stretch. But none of Erie's other buildings work for this joke.

Negotiations are once again on the table to not only disassemble the weapon, but to obtain a portion of Millcreek's land. Doing so would allow Erie to have their own designated escape route from the city if ever the militias of Millcreek Township invade.

Let my people go

While residents of Millcreek state that they do not want to be Erie residents, those residing in the region will have no choice but to take on the bloodline of the city of Erie, renouncing their Millcreek pride for Erie pride.