Mercer and West Crawford Send Soldiers to Defend Oil City

The call for aid has been answered in the wake of West Crawford's invasion of Venango County. According to sources, Mayor Sockett of Grove City, capital of Mercer County, and Mayor Dogfood of Meadville, capital of West Crawford County, are sending soldiers to defend Oil City against the three enemy soldiers approaching Venango's capital.

Additional reports state that a band of soldiers have bypassed Venango's industrial city of Pleasantville. To avoid the unpleasant eyesore, Warren County's military has chosen to go the long way through Forest County to reach Oil City's east side.

President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America is warning citizens to be prepared for an onslaught never before seen in Western Pennsylvania history.

While Venango County's military lays siege to Allegheny's capital of Pittsburgh in an attempt to get back Oil City's rotary phone. The citizens of Oil City stand defenseless while they wait for Mercer and West Crawford to arrive.

Mayor Blunders is calling on the mayor of Franklin, capital of Southern Venango County, for monetary aid. Although money will do nothing to help Oil City at this time, Blunders still made the request because he wants to sound productive.

Franklin says they will not answer the call to Oil City's aid for financial relief, since Oil City still owes them at least fifty dollars in loans. As for military aid, Franklin does not have any soldiers to spare, because they know that county wars are a ridiculous concept.

Experts have warned that we cannot know the full intent of enemy soldiers progressing to Oil City. It is recommended that locals take shelter behind massive umbrellas until the siege is over.