Men Digging Sinkhole Convert Underground Project to Bunker
The outcry against the sinkhole on Liberty Street has shown progress after the PennDOT workers suddenly decided to convert it into an underground bunker. According to sources, minutes before our last article was posted, PennDOT workers began filling in the sinkhole but also decided to include a room that shares similar characteristics with a Cold War backyard defense system.... A bunker....
“We are relieved to find this sinkhole will no longer pose the danger of swallowing cars,” states one man. “I know what it is like to fall into one of those. It took me several weeks to climb out of one at the Cranberry Mall parking lot.”
Other locals are not so relieved. One resident states that he can’t justify in his mind why the workers are building an underground bunker.
“Do they know of a coming attack we haven’t been informed about?” states a Vietnam vet. “In all my years of offering medical assistance to house cats in Vietnam, I never thought I would see people building bunkers in the street.”
With speculations rising, even the mayor of Franklin is becoming weary of the underground room.
“I’m becoming weary of the underground room,” states the mayor of Franklin.
Close investigations offered very little detail about what is going on inside the hole. This is primarily because we did not bother to interview the guys filling it in. The only indication of foul play is a ladder sticking out of the ground which conspiracy theorists are still struggling to explain.
Don’t worry… they’ll come up with something stupid. Conspiracy theorists always do.
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