Mayor Fossilfuel of Warren Says Oil City's Pipeline Is Not Fooling Anyone

The mayor of Warren issued a statement this morning, sending a clear message to Mayor Blunders of Oil City. At 9 a.m., Fossilfuel told the press that if Mayor Blunders does not disassemble his LockRock pipeline, he will sabotage it with toilet water.

The LockRock pipeline was an initiative to revive the oil industry by siphoning Warren's oil. It has failed dramatically. Venango County is only able to afford drinking straws. Additionally, the pipeline requires more than 50 miles of connection between the two cities.

Blunders' failure to have the so-called pipeline run underground has given the straws an obvious exposure, noticeable to the authorities in the city of Warren.

Fossilfuel finds Blunders pipeline outside Warren's refinery

Consequently, Mayor Fossilfuel says he will perform a different kind of warfare than what was seen months ago when he launched a diaper at Oil City. This time, he is threatening to reroute the pipeline into the local sewage system.

Blunders does not have funds for the machinery necessary to siphon the oil. Consequently, he is forced to use his own mouth. Although he denies his efforts to steal Warren's oil, Blunder's lies have been revealed by the grease constantly on his face.

Blunders with grease facial hair

If Blunders is unable to find a solution to the pipeline being visible above ground, there is a good chance we may also see sewage on his upper lip in the next week. Such a result would cause intercountial backlash never before seen. Fortunately, Venango County is not much of a threat to the city that has managed to keep their oil industry.