Mayor Dumbdumb Sending Troops to Venango County's Northern Border

The departure of the Venango County military has left the northern front completely unguarded. According to sources, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, capital of East Crawford, is assembling soldiers, numbering about two men, for a potential invasion on Venango County soil.

The report of the enemy's assembly came via telegram to our offices at the crumbling Catholic church. With times being so difficult, we were unable to tip the bicycle rider.

It seems that Dumbdumb may be preparing for an invasion on the capital of Oil City. If successful, he could topple any hope for a revival of oil refineries.

Holy crap, now we're living in denial....

Mayor Blunders has been led to the lower levels of City Hall to protect himself from the enemy.

Word is now being sent to Laurel and Hardy of the Venango County military. Unfortunately, it will take days since they still don't have their carrier pigeon. While 9 year old Timmy continues his mission to gain the pigeon back from Allegheny, communication must be sent by telegram.