Mayor Blunders to Visit Pittsburgh to Negotiate "Gulf of Venango"

The battle of Western PA is becoming heated right now! Not so much with Pittsburgh because they still don't know that Venango County exists, but more so Oil City and Franklin.

Mayor Blunders made a dam hoping to cut off Pittsburghs water supply. The goal was to force them to surrender their claims to the Allegheny River. Instead, he flooded Rouseville and dried up Franklin's riverbed.

As for Pittsburgh, Mayor Blunders didn't account for the creeks and rivers that merge with the Allegheny south of Venango County. In total, he lowered Pittsburghs water level by a quarter inch. Consequently, Venango County took the biggest hit from his decision to dry up the riverbed.

The city of Franklin is furious right now and is demanding Blunders resolve this issue immediately. Blunders states that he will be taking other initiatives to show Allegheny County that Venango is a superpower not to be triffled with.

Venango County has raised a military of five elderly men. These Vietnam vets are highly trained to handle the worst circumstances despite their frailty. Blunders wants to avoid war if necessary, but will do what he must to show Allegheny County he is serious.

In the best hopes of avoiding conflict between the two counties, Vice Mayor Mrs. Blunders proposes that the Mayor travel to Pittsburgh to negotiate in person. Mayor Blunders does not have a plane to transport him and will be renting a small pedal boat he recently used for signing the executive order for the Gulf of Venango. The boat will temporarily be named Boat Force One and will have enough room for Mayor Blunders, a pair of binoculars, and a bag of chips.

The meeting between the counties is not official as Pittsburgh has not responded. Mayor Blunders doesn't care and has left in his pedal boat nonetheless. The problem is, Mayor Blunders has forgotten that his dam dried up the river bed leaving him stranded in the middle of the Allegheny River. Rescue efforts are in the works as we speak.