Mayor Blunders Has Falling Out With Venango's Richest Freeloader Elan Klutz

Once an inseparable duo, Mayor Blunders and Elan Klutz seem to be at odds with one another. This came after the Venango entrepreneur posted negative comments about Blunders' recent bill to tax infants born naked.

Klutz was initially brought on to clean up the financial mess of Oil City's financial decisions. In a sixty-day period, he was able to cut the city budget by $15. Blunders initially praised Klutz for his hard work, noting that the task took Klutz away from his multi-hundred-penny company which sells red wagons that drive themselves when the user comes to an incline.

Now, Blunders states he is "disappointed in Klutz" for his criticism of the new tax bill, which he believes will "hold the next generation accountable."

Klutz responded to Blunders’ disappointment, asserting that his tariffs on Pittsburgh are a "useless way to get them to surrender their claim to the Allegheny River." He followed up by saying Blunders’ attempt to name the Allegheny River the "Gulf of Venango" is the "stupidest idea ever."

Blunders is now furious with Klutz and stated in a press briefing that he now plans to "sell his red wagon" since it "doesn't feature self-driving while going uphill."

Koala Bearis, the runner-up to Mayor Blunders in the 2025 election, says that she will buy the wagon from Blunders, as she hopes to one day "run him over with it." Blunders says he will be happy to sell the wagon to Bearis, provided she lets him loosen the wheel bearings to increase the chances of a crash and burn.

Klutz is still waiting on Blunders’ response to his recent claim that the Mayor is "in the Epstein files." According to Klutz, he made sure of this when he bought a plastic folder, labeled it Epstein, and put the Mayor's picture inside. Although Klutz is nervous the Mayor will do the same, he assures the press that any folder with his name on it already contains enough parking violations to discredit him for life.