Mayor Bighorn Calls for Blunders to Surrender Remaining Venango Territory

A military operation on the part of the Zugnar Alliance failed to capture Venango County's capital of Oil City last week. With all of PLATO's defenses focused on the city, President Mayor Bighorn of Elk County withdrew his troops and took the rest of Venango.

Northwestern Pennsylvania as it currently exists

Now, Mayor Bighorn has a region shaped similarly to an elk figure by combining his conquered lands of Clarion, Jefferson, and Venango County. Unfortunately for Bighorn, however, Venango still lays claim to a tiny patch in the center of the Elk Empire's left horn.

Bighorn is now making threats to cut off all of Blunders' supply routes if he does not sacrifice Oil City in the name of the Elk Empire. Blunders, who has not exited City Hall for the last three days, says that he will address the matter once his laxatives “do their work.”

East wing Ballroom to be completed after the war

In a press briefing today from inside the Outhouse, Blunders told the press that he is unimpressed with Bighorn's conquering of three northwestern Pennsylvanian superpowers. He even went so far as to insult the shape of Bighorn's pride.

“I think it looks more like a moose than an elk,” Blunders told reporters as they plugged their noses. “It brings back a lot of memories from watching Rocky and Bullwinkle.”

Bighorn has taken these remarks as a direct insult to the Elk Empire. He says that if Blunders does not redact his statements, all power leading to Oil City will be cut off.

“I don't know what redact means,” Blunders stated from inside the Outhouse at a later briefing. “I just know that our electric bill is overdue anyway. It was probably bound to happen.”

Blunders is pressing his luck. With Elk now possessing Jefferson County's capital of Punxsutawney, Bighorn now has control of the Groundhog Day Accords and can extend winter in any region he pleases. Should Blunders continue this game, Oil City could find itself under five feet of snow.

“The Outhouse has a really warm blanket.”

We are still trying to figure out why Venango elected this man...