Massive Cutbacks Downgrade City Police to Roller Skates

Once again the city of Oil City is facing massive cuts in their budgetary system losing a networth of 25 cents in the last five days. The city council met last night at the local McDonald's to go over spending and determined cuts in the local police budget were essential for balancing the books.

Starting tomorrow, all motorcycle cops will once again downgrade from skateboards to a pair of roller skates. This will be the largest cut since giving up their line of amish skooters.

Fuel cuts will also take place with cops switching from monster energy to a can of beans. Mayor Blunder believes that excessive farting will propel the skates sufficiently.

As for the armory, policemen will be permitted to maintain their spitball shooters but will be limited to half a spitball.

With half the department let go last month, the town is down to two police officers and a poodle to replace the k9 unit. Mayor Blunder is urging local crime bosses to hold off on illegal transactions till the city is able to afford more personnel.