Mashed Potatoes Discovered in River Revives Hope for Boom Town Days

The city of Oil City has now officially changed its name to Mashed Potato Heaven after an insurmountable pile of mashed potatoes has been discovered in the Allegheny River.

At 5 a.m. this morning, residents woke up to discover the Allegheny filled to the brim with a vegetable delight that often accompanies a turkey dinner. No one knows where the mashed potatoes came from, except that it is ideal for a town that has been seeking a new industry for decades.

Earlier this year, an initiative was made to revive the oil industry by extracting whatever could be found in the famous Oil Creek. Despite hours of digging, workers were unsuccessful in finding any oil in the water that has been improperly named.

Following this event, another order was made to create a pipeline stretching to Warren in an attempt to steal their oil and revive Oil City's famed industry. The Rocklock pipeline failed when members of Titusville's military sabotaged the project by taking scissors to the straws.

Now, Oil City can revive its oil boom days with a new resource plentifully available. With the demand of mashed potatoes at an all-time high because of the worldwide potato crisis, Oil City has now officially become the mashed potato capital of the world. We will once again be as rich as we were before Quaker State abandoned our fine community.