Marienville Troops Take Tionesta Back

It has been 5 days since Tionesta fell to East Crewford troops overtaking the industrial city. The town was silent and unprepared for the unexpected arival of two soldiers carrying spitball machine guns and muffin hand grenades. Since Saturday, residents had to watch two soldiers sitting outside in thier lawnchairs keeping the town under seige. Now, they have finally found salvation.

It was 9 PM Wednesday when Marienville troops finally arrived to save Tionesta from the onslaught. At this point, there was only one soldier left as the other ventured to a nearby town to extend the invasion. As the soldier slept in his lawn chair, shots rang out. Two Marienville troops ran down from the hill firing spitballs towards the East Crawford enforcement.

Despite the quiet nature of the spitballs, Crawfords invader woke when a drip of suliva flew off the spitball and landed on his arm. Sources say that the shrapnel looked fatal, but was tended to imediately when the Crawford troop applied sanitizer to his hand. Experts say his quick reaction to recieve first aide will significantly decrease his chances of catching covid.

The East Crawford soldier has retreated from the town, but Marienville forces are fearful that there may be retaliation. A Marienville soldier has been hit from the skirmish and is in critical condition. Locals say they tried to tend to his wounds when he got struck by a spitball but did not have any sanitary products in town to prevent him from catching covid. Marienville medicts also lacked the necessary first aid because they don't know what sanitary means.